Praise for THE CONFLICT PARADOX
"This is the best new book to come out on conflict engagement and transformation in the last five years. It will be an invaluable resource for people involved in conflicts and third parties who help to resolve serious differences and build more positive relationships."
Christopher W. Moore, partner, CDR Associates; author of The Mediation Process
"I LOVE this book. Framing the dilemmas of conflict as paradoxes that must be managed makes exquisite sense. This wonderful road map to conflict will resonate with readers. A well–written, reflective, and thoughtful approach filled with personal and practical stories. A must–read for both advocates and neutrals!"
Andrea Kupfer Schneider, professor and director of the dispute resolution program, Marquette University Law School
"Bernie Mayer is brilliant, and his book makes an enormous contribution to the field. It is deep and subtle and complex and profound, and at the same time it is immensely practical, tremendously useful, amazingly comprehensive, and beautifully written. It is a classic, and it will help you navigate the chaotic waters of conflict."
Kenneth Cloke, author of The Dance of Opposites
"In this groundbreaking work, Bernie Mayer translates science, philosophy, and creative imagination into tools both practical and original. This book offers a much–needed road map for integrative thinking in even the most complex conflicts."
Michelle LeBaron, Distinguished Scholar in Residence, Peter Wall Institute for Advanced Studies; professor, The University of British Columbia Faculty of Law at Allard Hall
"Drawing on decades of experience as a conflict specialist and an earlier and even more fundamental commitment as a social activist to a just society Bernie Mayer has written a book, rich in case studies and lessons from the field, that unpack seven essential paradoxes characteristic of intractable conflict. Mayer demonstrates how each pole of the paradox remains stubbornly present and consequential all the time, and how the conflict specialist must come to understand and learn to work with this, even as he or she helps the disputants to do much the same thing."
Kevin Avruch, dean and professor, The School for Conflict Analysis and Resolution, George Mason University
"I strongly recommend this book to any professional who wants to stretch the boundaries of his or her thinking and skills in working with others."
Arnold T. Shienvold, PhD, past president, Association for Conflict Resolution and Association of Family and Conciliation Courts
1 The Art of Conflict 1
2 Competition and Cooperation 25
3 Optimism and Realism 61
4 Avoidance and Engagement 95
5 Principle and Compromise 131
6 Emotions and Logic 167
7 Neutrality and Advocacy 201
8 Community and Autonomy 237
9 The Conflict Dialectic: Better Paradoxes, Better Conflict 267